It has been an eventual trip.
Here it goes, warts (almost literally) and all
I arrive at the Heathrow departure gate to find a group of men on a stag (I hope) addressed as Elvis impersonators. Already worse for wear
I make a silent prayer
"please let them get upgraded, please make them sit miles away from me"
Of course I don"t run quite as well as that.
So there I am in seat 40H. Immediately across the aisle are the Elvi.
It got better. Waitress service begins and they all order a beer. Fair enough.
However their modus operandi was that the last Elvis to finish his beer had to stand up and give a rendition of an Elvis song.
I scrabbled around for my headphones. Never had the lure of an In flight "Harry Potter" glistened so brightly
First beer downed and an Elvis, sized to represent a 1974 Vegas version wedged into an Economy seat, rose unsteadily
"We can"t go on together with SUSPICIOUS MINDS" my emphasis as he shouted the key phrase
At that point the six other Elvi harmonised "Suspicious Minds, woooo-oooohh"
I could sense the collective spirits of sixteen stewardesses sink in a slough of despond. A few passengers bristled. I turned up Ron Weasley.
This continued for an hour or so. Jailhouse rock, check. Love me tender, a surprisingly affecting and haunting check.
Eventually someone must have complained as they were asked by the Head Stewardess, who looked like Pat Butcher from Eastenders in a disappointing puncturing of a perennial fantasy of mine, to stop.
The rest of the flight passed and come 8pm local I was out of my hotel room and off to explore.
I went down to the Carnivale Court in Harrahs next door. I almost turned right round when I saw Laxie cavorting solo to a live band while Jack stood stoically, beer in hand, nearby.
About 15 APATers were there, and I gathered that more were playing the $80 8pm in the poker room.
Off I went and there they were, the poker hard core. Each of the seven or eight tables in play had 2 or 3 APATers on.
I sat behind Ger Senior as he battled with JP Round and Michelle Gascoine. On another Andy Duncan, Paullie and Shogun battled.
Colin Wilson was playing cash with Darren Shallis...and so it went on
Back to Carnivale Court for a while before I went exploring. The place was teeming, the boardwalk a mass of people. I was to be frank a bit over-awed by the place, a real full on experience. I looked across at the Mirage and rounded the corner to be greeted the Venetian. Wow, impressive.
I went inside and the scale of the poker room...enormous. I said hello to a few Brits playing the deepstack, looked around for tikay in vain to say hello, but it was strange to travel thousands of miles and to be shaking hands with people I would normally be updating on on the UK circuit
I was determined to make it through to about midnight, to try and adjust to Vegas time asap.
Around 11.30pm I went slowly back to the IP, passed through the length of the casino floor to the lifts and in I got with about 8 people
Exiting on the 10th floor and to my room I put my key in the door
The end? If only
I was tapped on the shoulder
"Hello" said a statuesque dark lady "can I use your toilet?"
There was no doubting what she was. There was also no doubting that the correct answer was "no"
"Y-y-y-yes" I stumbled. Sometimes it would be easier not to be British and hate offending people....
I immediately regretted it, and i feared I was about to get ripped off. While she was in the bathroom I quickly stuffed my passport and wallet under the bed lol
"Thanks Honey" she said as she re-entered the room
I opened the door
"No problem" I said "good night"
"Lets talk for five minutes sugar"
"No thanks, I need to sleep" I said and gestured to the door
"five minutes honey" I wondered how on earth I had let myself get in this situation.
"No, sleep"
I must have sounded pathetic
"Really, I have to sleep"
I must have looked determined as she walked out of the door, no doubt to resume her prowl of the the IP corridors.
I will not be getting drunk this trip.
Plan for today. Well, I of course woke up at 4am Vegas time. Sigh
I will seek out breakfast in "Hash House a go go" downstairs, try the Harrahs morning tournament, check out Caesars Palace and where the poker room is for tomorrow then over to the Monte Carlo the starting place for the stag do tonight.
I will not be getting drunk this trip.
