swinebag's blog - proof that teachers have too much time on their hands!!

[duke3016]

welcome back -- now buckle down and do a daily update you slacker

[Santino67]

There"s a poker playing teacher named Swiney
His pupils claim he"s very whiney
But when he"s at the felt
even when sh*t cards are dealt
he"ll steal all your chips, cor blimey!

[Swinebag]

There"s a poker playing teacher named Swiney
His pupils claim he"s very whiney
But when he"s at the felt
even when sh*t cards are dealt
he"ll steal all your chips, cor blimey!

Woah Grant...that is good!!

[Swinebag]

Robinho.....

All I can say is....

cue the "I told you so" group* to start coming out of the woodwork

(*who actually didn"t say anything at the time he was signed)

[Swinebag]

[Swinebag]

Wife was out playing Netball last night so I played a quick STT whilst my dinner was cooking. I bubbled this which was disappointing but I"ve not had too many bubbles recently so cant complain.

I then went out to play a pub league game. This turned out to be perfect preparation for Walsall. Not because of the structure, clock and opposition. But because the game was filmed by a Manchester University post graduate doing a study on anthropology and film. Apparantly, watching a load of blokes in a pub playing poker is a great study in human behaviour. So I will feel really well prepared for walsall when Tikay does his winners interview with me

as for the game (15K chips 20 min clock first level 50/100), you get a chance at the start to play some poker then it becomes a shove fest at the end. The standard of play is pretty good, although a lot of players dont really get the dynamics once the blinds are huge and happily fold down to the "oh I"m all in in the BB" stage.

I got off to a great start calling a raise OTB with JQ, flopping the openender and was priced into the river which I hit for ZEEE NUTZZZ and was duly paid off too. Next orbit I get 88 OTB and call a raise and Cbet on a 66K flop. The turn is checked round and the river 8 gives me the best hand on the river which is also handsomely paid off.

(nothing should be read into the fact that I was dealer for both these hands)

Apart from taking a short stack out (TT v AK - held up) I was pretty much card dead after this, but as there were only 12 of us I got down to the last 3 without having to really risk anything, picking up a few nice bluffed pots on the way.

It was at this point that I found out I had won the cash prize (not everyone has to shell out a fiver - and the other 2 had taken that option). Once I had accertained that the other 2 did not need points for the league monthly final, I gave a lesson ( )in push/donk/suckout poker that amused me and the railers but not the oponents.

Effective stacks were 8 BBs, It was past midnight, I had the loot, so wanted to go home.

allin with 35 lost to JK to halve my stack
allin with 79 took the blinds
allin with Q3 called by AK, board ran AK x TJ (double up)
called allin with 85 v short stack A8, flopped a 5 to knock her out
second hand of HU
allin with J9 soooooooted called by AK, made 2 pair to win it.......all under the watchful glare and pressure of the cameras

A pretty sick run of cards at the end to win it and I probably have used all my luck up in one pub game. (though in hindsight I was unlucky to keep running into genuine hands that called me)

I haven"t been set over setted live for ages and can feel one coming on (or a KK v AA even). I just hope walsall doesn"t bring it.

[kinboshi]

Robinho.....

All I can say is....

cue the "I told you so" group* to start coming out of the woodwork

(*who actually didn"t say anything at the time he was signed)

Told you so.

[Swinebag]

Robinho.....

All I can say is....

cue the "I told you so" group* to start coming out of the woodwork

(*who actually didn"t say anything at the time he was signed)

Told you so.

I knew you couldn"t resist...double your money only then!!

[duke3016]

But because the game was filmed by a Manchester University post graduate doing a study on anthropology Fish and film donkeys.

FYP

[kinboshi]

Robinho.....

All I can say is....

cue the "I told you so" group* to start coming out of the woodwork

(*who actually didn"t say anything at the time he was signed)

Told you so.

I knew you couldn"t resist...double your money only then!!

I have been forwarded the cross dialogue between Man City and AC Milan superstar Kaka. Unfortunately I only have the script from the City end but I think it is clear for all as to the total content:

"Hello, is that Kaka? How do you fancy becoming the supply line to Craig Bellamy and Darius Vassell this winter?

"No, your fellow countryman doesn"t like the cold and will be out until Mid April - but you will play alongside Stephen Ireland"

"No, Kaka , Ireland is a person not a country"

"yes, I fully appreciate that he is not Ronaldinho, Pirlo or even
Beckham but many fans have him in their fantasy football"

"I know you are currently the richest man in Italy but we can double it!"

"erm, well, we have had a bit of a slide recently and we are currently
15th"

"erm, out of 20...... but Mark Hughes once won the double for our neighbours"

"Hughes"

"Ex Blackburn boss"

"Blackburn, Blackburn Rovers"

"No, Blackburn ......Black.....Burn"

"HUGHES man, HUGHES!!!"

"He once scored a good goal against Spain "

"No, thats Gerry Armstrong..... anyway, are you coming or not?"

"Usually about two thirds full but if we play a big team its really rocks"

"yes I know, but we dont even have a car park cos all the fans walk to the ground they are so local"

"Relevance? well, I suppose its all they have to brag about whether its true or not"

"Only the one to be fair but its called "blue moon" you will love it"

"Blue"

"yes, definitely blue, always has been"

"No, no, no, they are in Trafford"

"yes they are, steeped in it in fact but what good is history to you my
ambitious friend?"

"erm, 1976 I think"

"it was the er, the er League cup if memory serves me right"

"Well, the plan was to get in the top 4 this season and then....."

"yes, I realise that but....."

"Aston Villa? Whats it got to do with them?"

"Yes, I know but we have been down this history route already"

"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know about Nottingham Forest ?"

"Yes, yes, and Leeds United also made a final but you are missing my point, this is all about the future"

"Give me strength......HUGHES!!!!"

"yes I know he did and he was a legend there but he is a changed man"

"forget them, they are falling apart"

"But all those trophies were won last year! They have won nothing in 2009"

"I have told you.... 1976!!!!"

"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know that Virginia Wade has won Wimbledon since then?"

"Yes she probably is in her 60"s"

"I dont know, probably about 10 league titles, 2 european cups and countless domestic cups what has that got to do with it?"

"76,000 why?"

"yes, every game, even minor cups I suppose, but where is this getting us?"

"Yes, the league cup is considered a minor cup over here why?"

"I know, I know, I know, ok perhaps they won the FA Cup in 1970 or something does it really matter?"

"look, Kaka, we will treble whatever you are on now, buy you a mansion in Alderley Edge and give you a helicopter for your front lawn....are you joining us?"

"NO!, its owned by the council - what has the ground got to do with anything"

"well, officially its the city of manchester stadium but most people call it Eastlands"

"EAST!, not Waste"

"You will be adored there"

"No, not there, here I meant"

"No, thats Old Trafford, I meant adored here at Waste....erm, Eastlands"

" Anderson Huh? what does he know?"

"Ok I hear what you say, but other than Pride, Ambition, Achievement, History, Passion and a large car park - what can they offer you?"

"what do you mean no credit left in your phone.....I phoned you"

"Hello, Mr Kaka,...... Mr Kaka are you......."

[duke3016]

LOL just LOL -- brilliant

[Swinebag]

That is class

who did you plagarise it from?

....and shouldn"t you be out running?

[kinboshi]

That is class

who did you plagarise it from?

....and shouldn"t you be out running?

I didn"t plagiarise it - I copy and pasted it!




(and like I"ve posted on the thread, I run in the morning!)

[duke3016]

That is class

who did you plagarise it from?

....and shouldn"t you be out running?

I didn"t plagiarise it - I copy and pasted it!




(and like I"ve posted on the thread, I run in the morning!)

you have a day off tomorrow -- get pissed

[Swinebag]

Two STTs was all i managed last night. First out in the first when my KK lost to AT allin pre. I bubbled the other.

My chance to redeem myself was cut short by an indoor cricket match. Indoor cricket is a peculiar game (very peculiar if you dont get normal cricket) where all your best shots in the outdoor version of the game are obselete (or will get you into trouble). In Poker terms it is the Lowball version of cricket; still a good game but different.

We won the match and afterwards discussed future events. It turns out that we are celebrating the chairmans 60th Birthday with cricket, beer, food etc on a weekend that clashes with the Welsh champs.

Given my 100% record, If anyone would like to employ my services as a "clickfester" then I am available for a 10% piece of action