With the delivery of my new phone I went online to cancel my current contract. I kept a copy of the chat, names have been changed to protect the innocent.
info: Welcome to O2. Someone will be with you soon.
info: You"re through to O2 : ***.
O2 : ***: Hi I"m O2 : ***. How can I help?
Ger: My contract is up 7th June 2012. I would like to cancel the contact on that date.
O2 : ***: I"ll be happy to help you.
O2 : ***: Please can you tell me the 1st and 4th character of the answer to your security question?
Ger: ? whats the question?
cue gap of a couple of minutes
Ger: If it's ************? then the letters are * and *
O2 : ***: That"s correct.
O2 : ***: Thanks for the information. Please give me a few minutes while I check this for you.
Cue gap of a couple of minutes
O2 : ***: Thanks for waiting.
O2 : ***: I"ve checked youe account.
O2 : ***: It"s going to end on the same date.
O2 : ***: But to cancel a contract with us
O2 : ***: you"ll have to give a 30 days notice.
Ger: oh theres a but, there is always a but.
Ger: I have
Cue gap of a couple of minutes
Ger: I am giving you notice now more than 30 days from the renew date
O2 : ***: Sure.
O2 : ***: But we need 30 days notice.
Ger: Are you working on the old Mayan Calendar? My Gregorian Calendar says we are more than 30 days from the 7th June.
O2 : ***: Please bear with me.
Cue gap of a couple of minutes
O2 : ***: May I know the number?
Ger: It's my only account with you? The mobile number is 07********
O2 : ***: I was talking for this number only.
Cue gap of a couple of minutes
O2 : ***: I haven"t heard from you for a while. Are you still there?
Ger: yes, It's you that has to do the work, what the feck do you need from me?
Cue another gap of a couple of minutes
O2 : ***: I have taken a 30 days notice for the number 07********.
O2 : ***: Is there one more number you want to disconnect?
Ger: I only have the one account or will I just give you a random number as you are in disconnect mode?
O2 : ***: That will not be necessary
O2 : ***: Is there anything else I can help you with
Ger: Can you arrange for delivery of a 23 year old buxom blonde?
O2 : ***: That is not possible
Ger: Never mind, thank you and have a nice day.
O2 : ***: When you log off you will get a satisfaction survey, please attempt to fill it in sensibly...
Priceless our ***