Earlier on I touched on a regret about a certain Pauline Wade. Well Pauline lived in Loughrea, County Galway and I used to travel there fairly regularly. It was approx 55km but hey I was in lurve... Now to get there I used to drive from home through Scarriff, Whitegate, woodford and on into Loughrea.
Now Woodford has a right angled bend at the top of the main street and facing in the Loughrea direction on the apex of this bend was the Garda Station, so I faced it directly on the way back. Well , I was coming home late in the morning after a night of passion and feeling good. I must have lost concentration in my euphoria as I approached the bend in Woodford. (That"s my excuse and I am sticking to it)
Consequently I hit the Garda Station double doors head on and demolished them, pushing them inwards and ending up with the nose of my car nudging the desk. I was OK and as I gathered my thoughts the lights came on, and there behind the desk was Sergeant Nolan, resplendent in his tunic top and thermal long johns.
"Good Morning Flight Lieutenant" says he (dry sense of humour FFS)
"Morning Sergeant" Says I
"Oh it you Gerard, How's your Father" says he
"Fine" says I (beginning to feel a little surreal at this point)
"Let's get this car back into the street" says he
We pushed the car out into the street and it was surprisingly fairly OK except for the lights pointing at the ground. A few sharp cracks with the hammer and these were as good as they will ever be. Standing in the street surveying the damage with the two doors looking a little worse for wear.
"What happened ?" says he
"I hit the doors" says I
"obviously" says he
"I think it was a patch of black ice" says I
"In June ?" says he
"Strange weather we"re having" says I
"Aye" says he "How"s your Mother keeping ?"
"Grand" says I
"Fine woman, you must be breaking her heart" says he
"Anyway do you think you can get that thing home" says he
"Yes" says I
"Oh and you will pay for the door" says he
"Of course" says I
"Give my regards to your Father" says he
"Surely" says I
"On your way then" says he
"Bye" says I
I drove home and went to bed and when I got up in the morning I thought "Nah that didn't happen" I saw the car "yes it did", I got the bill about three days later for £100, cheap at half the price.
It would only happen in Ireland.........
