If Carlsberg did dull poker blogs, they'd do this one

[mal666]

my part of this otherwise fine city
have you moved?

[Mayfair]

my part of this otherwise fine city
have you moved?

Aaahhh!!!

There must be a monkey... and he"s living in... Ipswich!!!!

[monkeyman]

my part of this otherwise fine city
have you moved?

Aaahhh!!!

There must be a monkey... and he"s living in... Ipswich!!!!

Wash your mouth out with soap immediately, how dare you?
  The signs on all the main roads into Norwich read "Welcome to Norwich, a fine city". For many years I"ve been in correspondence with the city council as I feel these signs should carry something with a bit more impact. For some reason they didn"t feel "We don"t like outsiders here" gave out the right "vibe", "We"ve got two cathedrals you haven"t, ha ha" displayed a touch of arrogance and "At least its not f*****g Ipswich" was potentially inflammatory.
  The proof of how Norwich has become a centre of excellence for the creative arts  is provided by the link below. This guy is probably the most famous person in the city and if I had my way would be elected mayor next year.
 http://www.norwichpuppetman.co.uk/    

[monkeyman]

Three weeks to go and counting.........
 The Hotel is booked, the train tickets are booked, I"ve got a seat in each event and I"ve got a ticket to see Spamalot the evening before it all kicks off. All I"ve got to do now is decide what from of poker I"m going to play between now and then. There"s a decent chance I won"t play a single hand of Hold'em between now and arriving at the Vic and I"ll more than likely continue plodding away on the cash stud tables with an occasional Omaha or Razz tournament for good measure. Can"t wait

[Bad hat lady]

[monkeyman]

Have you managed to stop playing poker long enough to go shopping recently? Did you notice that there are now two types of Jammie dodgers; classic and jam ?n? custard. Do you think it is true that Jammie dodger variety is the spice of life or are you more a ?how dare they mess with a classic? man?

ps why isn?t there a smiley biscuit symbol to insert in these blogs?

I"m open to new developments in the biscuit world so I will have to give these new-fangled inventions a try. However, I"m sure there are those out there who will consider direct action against their local supermarket as a result of tinkering with a classic recipe, so in the interests of self-preservation, I will only take the old style to The Vic.
  Moving swiftly on, I"m faced with a dilemna over the next few days. My PC is playing silly devils and I may have to hand it over to someone for remedial work. This means I may have to go a few days without playing poker :"(. What am I supposed to do with my time? Watch TV? Read a book? Don"t know if I can bring myself to say this but, deep breath, go out? I"m not sure if I can cope      

[mal666]

if you are still talking biscuits this is all you will ever need.
               

[monkeyman]

if you are still talking biscuits this is all you will ever need.
               

If you vote for my blog I may even consider bringing a packet of bourbons as well

[mal666]

if you are still talking biscuits this is all you will ever need.
               

If you vote for my blog I may even consider bringing a packet of bourbons as well

no canvassing required mr monkeyman, you got my vote days ago.

[Roscopiko]

Got mine too but can i have a chocky hobnob anyhow.

[monkeyman]

So, after an evening at the Norwich Arts Centre watching the Voodoo Glow Skulls, a band so obscure that their own mothers ask them to wear name badges at the dinner table, I arrive home with work to do. I"ve got a job application which needs to be with Norfolk County Council"s HR bods tomorrow, so I switch on my computer with the intention of doing one last check of the "Lie profusely as to why you want this job although we really know its because you hate what you"re doing " section but fall into a familiar trap. My thought process goes as follows:

1) This is one of those rare jobs I"m applying for because I want to do it rather than solely because it offers more money. Therefore, I need to check the application as carefully as possible.
2) I don"t have to be at work until 10.15am tomorrow, therefore I"ll have time to check it before departing
3) Besides which, I checked it a couple of times yesterday, so its probably fine anyway
4) My computer is on now. Seems a shame to waste the electricity.
5) Why not play poker instead?        

[the-crow]

Ok I dream of Kara scott, and Michelle Orpe

who do you dream of

[monkeyman]

Ok I dream of Kara scott, and Michelle Orpe

who do you dream of

Victoria Coren. Failing that anyone who is female,16 or over, knows how to say the word "yes" would fit the bill

[Bad hat lady]

Moving swiftly on, I"m faced with a dilemna over the next few days. My PC is playing silly devils and I may have to hand it over to someone for remedial work. This means I may have to go a few days without playing poker :"(. What am I supposed to do with my time? Watch TV? Read a book? Don"t know if I can bring myself to say this but, deep breath, go out? I"m not sure if I can cope      

I was going to say you should get out more. Then I realised that might encourage you to visit so I have despatched the best IT engineer I can find.

[monkeyman]

For the first time in over a year, I"ve been trying my hand at limit Hold'em this week. I used to regard it as a game for donkeys who just liked to call anything in the hope of hitting a miracle card, but I decided to play it with a policy of raise, raise again and then raise some more and this seems to work. One of my reasons for trying this was that I"ve identified a fault in my stud game where I start with a good holding but get overtaken on later streets and lose pots by being unable to get away from hands. I think my experiment this week seems to have helped, but I suppose there is only one way to find out.........
   Incidentally, if by some miracle any of my bosses get to read this, yes I know I"m not supposed to use the internet in works time, but you denied my request for time off to take part in the world series main event 2 years ago so I think you still owe me.