Author Topic: Thought for today  (Read 138977 times)

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HaworthBantam

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #120 on: September 22, 2008, 08:44:12 AM »

21st September 2008

Does your partner have problems parking the car ? Simply tie a balloon to the back bumper of her their car, and sellotape a drawing pin to the rear of your garage. When you hear a loud bang, apply the brakes.

duke3016

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #121 on: September 22, 2008, 10:00:22 AM »
20th September 2008

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm

duke3016

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #122 on: September 22, 2008, 10:08:07 AM »
21st September 2008

Hindsight is an exact science

duke3016

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #123 on: September 22, 2008, 10:11:34 AM »
22nd September 2008

It is not true that life is one damn thing after another, it is one damn thing over and over.

Sub 'erby

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #124 on: September 22, 2008, 19:40:06 PM »
Treat every situation like a dog

If you can"t eat it or screw it, piss on it and walk away. ;D

Sub 'erby

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #125 on: September 23, 2008, 01:01:34 AM »
23rd September 2008

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

duke3016

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #126 on: September 23, 2008, 05:31:17 AM »
23rd September 2008

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Sub 'erby

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #127 on: September 24, 2008, 00:13:05 AM »
24th September 2008.

We yearn for yesterday, for what was or might have been.
However as we are yearning, the present is becoming the past - so the past is nothing but our yearning for second chances.

duke3016

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #128 on: September 24, 2008, 08:00:24 AM »
24th September 2008

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man"s character, give him power.

Sub 'erby

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #129 on: September 25, 2008, 09:00:51 AM »
25th September 2008

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst - but never give up!
« Last Edit: September 25, 2008, 09:05:13 AM by Sub 'erby »

duke3016

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #130 on: September 25, 2008, 17:38:20 PM »
25th September 2008

Father ; "So Son, what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?"

Son; "Diet."

smileriraq

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #131 on: September 25, 2008, 18:50:16 PM »
If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95.

With HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50.

£1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5.

But if you bought £1000 worth of Stella one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214.

So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.

Sub 'erby

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #132 on: September 26, 2008, 00:58:52 AM »
26th September 2008

Paranoia ain"t all bad, at least it keeps you on your toes.

duke3016

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #133 on: September 26, 2008, 08:02:34 AM »
26th September 2008

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

duke3016

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Re: Thought for today
« Reply #134 on: September 27, 2008, 00:20:15 AM »
27th September 2008

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.