The scene is a packed Tallinn Town Hall
Hundreds are gathered for the announcement of twin Cities for Tallinn
Major excitement already as the likes of Gothenburg, Malmo, Riga, Moscow, Venice and Vilnius has been announced.
Only the announcement of the UK City awaits.
The mayor rises to the lectern, golden envelope in hand
Beside him, one councillor turns to another
"Great, England. Time for Jiggy-Jiggy on our holidays. Wonder what we"ll get? Something with cultural significance, with a history of overcoming suppression perhaps? Religious overtones maybe?"
"Who cares?" replies the other "As long as it has strip clubs and I get to meet Cheryl Cole, wa-hey!"
"I prefer Clare Balding" replied the first, a little too loudly as eyebrows arch in the first row
The Mayor opens the envelope
"I am pleased to announce that Tallinn, Estonia is to be Twinned with Dartford, Kent"
An audible "wtf?" rises in the auditorium as aides scramble for their maps.
The Mayor clears his throat
"Lets all trust Des Duffy" he says "He got us Venice and Moscow, Vilnius and Gothenberg. Dartford will be special too"
Just as he finished he noticed a note attached to the card. It was from that renowned negotiator himself, la Duffy
"Sorry Jari" it said "Dartford was all they had left, even Walsall was taken. My invoice is in the post"
