ok lets get started hope yous enjoy.my name RAYMOND CROWE born in belfast 1960 one of seven kids three brothers and three sisters dad was a part timer.. Now that makes me 25 years old? 
.the first thing that i can remember was my third chirstmas it was xmas eve rite time for santas comeing 2maro. So of we go up the stairs daddy tucked us in 4boys in one bed 2at the bottem and 2 at the top smelly feet up your nose and all that..Anyway i could not sleep i wanted 2 see santaclause he must have lived down the street cause he went 2 everyones house.SO i decide 2 sit at the top of the stairs.OK im sitting there for ages no santa.THEN brother appears .What r you doing daddys going 2 kill u.NO hes not im waiting for santa.SO bro sits with me. KNOCK on the door.bro sushs its santa.WELL all we seen was the big black boots the big long over coat NOW as santa walk into the liveing room wee seen a big white bun on his head.WELL me and the bro sitting hands closed as if wee where praying .i wounder wat santa has brougt us .then i here a bussing nose so i turned to my left and there it was a monster a big daddy long legs.Well did i jump write 2 the bottom crash bag wolup CLUNK on floor at the bottom. DAD comes out what r u doing theres a monster up stairs. WELL the bro is wetting him self at the top of the stairs because i fell down the stairsWELLit was daddys turn YOU GET TO BED like lightning in to bed HE goes .DAD where you sitting on the stairs yes i want 2 see santa MOTHER bring him in hes 2 young 2 remember WROUNG.SO dad carrys me in sets me on the chair now dont move those famous words? oi dead on da up of the chair over to the tree now santa had his back 2 me he was putting MY presents under the tree then he stands up and i pulled his coat hi santa SO santa turned round who was it my GRANNY.the only time i ever seen her. lovely memory granny sant.RIGHT now they let me out doors meet the neighbours to the right the morrisons to the left old bitch cause every time our ball went in her garden she busted it about 30 ball we went thru so after about a year wee got our own back a dog had done a keek on the footpath so wee rolled the ball in it WELL she dident bost that one she dident even lift that here son come and get your ball son from the top window of the house comes a basin of water write over me old bitch.I never went in again?i only 2 reck her flowers.NOW the morrisons good lads very good lads looked after there mummy very well she was a lovley wee women 4foot 1or2 wee round women but one day she put hair laker on her hair then opend the oven door and yes up it went THE HAIR runs into the street and theres this women passing big red head built like a brick carrier anyway2 days later out of the house comes BOLDY miss morrison .WELLdown comes the red head standing haveing a chat then all wee here is you you bitch come here well another red head well she legged it down an ally way deadend oops they beat the c r a p out of eachother it took about six or seven men till seperate them cat fight it wasen more like 2 body builders but mad .NOW across the street lived MARGARET dont no her other name wee called here monkey girl y well she climbed LAMPOSTS like a monkey ANYWAY she was about 11 or 12 and all the lads used to look up her skirt and i dident no y?well i was only 4 but i found out later on in years that there was someting under the skirt call? 
heaven tku ladies.... NOW a few years later me and the bro went to the boxing club down the road thats where i firt heard the biger they r the harder they fall.THEN the troubles broke out in belfast dad was having none of it so of wee went moved till the country a placed called COUNTY ANTRIM .NOW wee where city kids never seen the country side well there was wild life galore rabbits hairs/ rats? frogs checkens rosters horses goats badgers newuts the six mile river and a forest .WELL we broght trouble to the door more than my dad needed. NOW wile wee lived there i had a few fights but one big lad give me a right beating well we moved again back 2 belfast and wee went 2 a school called THE BOYS MODLE no modle pupiles just hard knocks if you dident learn fast they just stamped allover you well i did and they dident .BUT wee dident stay there 2long 6 months i think on the move again this time to GLENGORMLEY.................NOW this is where i have 2 stop cos by this time in 13 and thats where my lfe changes.in so many ways...stay tuned.will try and do the next one in a couple of days .RAY
RAY OF LIGHT CAN DODGE BULLETS BABY......It is now 11.30 check the time and see how long it takes till right this .You must fallow the links while you are reading this and you will also see my sence of humor. Witch i think is second to none. Well here goes. I had being going 2 the school for about a year and just started the new term .Well lunch time came and whos in the play ground the big lad that give me a beating a few years ago now he was a big lad he was a good 6inchs above me and he thought he could dig me twice WROUNG i beat the C R ? P out of He dident try it a third time.NOW on the way home that day i was with micheal he called himself CLINT EASTWOOD what a DH y would you call yourself clint eastwood? Anyway on the way home wee where going to MR EASTWOODS house.Now CLINT was not aloud to chum around with me cause i was a bad influence .So im waiting round the corner for about 15minets Then i see my other brother joe and 2mates on the roof of a bungalow. SO of i go to see wat there doing Well there only trying to take the lead of the chimney pot .Well it was an old house just a shell 4 walls and a chimney in the middle and a portch. Well im walking through the house and i see the brother jumping down of the portch and he SHOUTS WATCH i look up .HAY PRESTO theres a chimney RIGHT ON MY HEAD........ MY other mate dident no i was there. THAT IS THE TRUTH .NOW YOU KNOW.what happened.it happened somthing like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1H8fe3fVfk.NOW every time i here this song a have a laugh I think its halurios just those words.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN8kHIq0_Eo&feature=related.I think its nice that someone has taken the time to wright a song after me tku
. NOW my memorys of that day are some what. Shall wee say missing. I dont remember seeing it i never felt it hitting me i dont remember anything about it.BUT from what iv been told i was very lucky. THATS AN UNDERSTATMENT.....Now when my mate came down of the portch and seen me lying there ....Well ill tell you in his words.When i came of the portch and seen the chimney on your head i thought you where dead and i went to run then you started to move but when you lifted the chimney i saw a big hole in your head and blood was every where so i ran to get help. Now they where his words.Now after the accident they took the chimney away and weighed it. Why did they weigh. I dont no. But they did it weighed 14 stone. I only weighed 8 stone at the time .So i lifted the chimney of my head stood up and started to walk .I was walking something like a bloodie zombie.Thats what i was told.Anyway i staggered for about 30 yards an fell flat on my face. IT JUST WASENT MY DAY .HEHE.....Anyway a stranger lifed me and carried me for another 200 yards and lay me on the ground face down then left .I never got the chance to thank that man for saving my life and noone knows how he was he just left.Now heres where it get a bit funny.My brother runs into the house and says that 4 letter word Fk our raymonds had an accident.WELL me dad hit him for swearing and after my brother had camed down and told him what happened my dad run down the road 2 get me .DIDENT HE GET A SHOCK .. Now he wasent the first one there .There was a women in front of him. Well she tryed to lift me but when she turned me over .....SHE VAINTED....And droped me on my face AGAIN..........3times in 15 minets. REALY WASENT MY DAY. MY dad just sat at the side of the road PRAYING....my munm new nothing about it they dident tell her for 4 or 5 days cause she had been on tablets for her nerves.Well of wee go to the hospital .Now i dont remember anything.Now im on life support. i had a hole in my head the sice of a cricket ball i lost 7pints of blood 3 fingers an eye my theeth my gums and my jaw was smashed to bits. Now im on life support and i here These words.MR crowe if your sun survivses this he will PROBIBLEY be a CABBAGE?.........deadon doctor me dont think so.Now every my ticker stoped they brought me back. NOW your asking yourself how did i no iwas dead Well my dad tolsd me and 2 every time they where trying to start me again i had the same dream.And this was the dream. My dream was ....Laurel and Hardy sitting on a 72inch record going round and round laughing now upabove them was a man in white holding a lightbulb above his head and when the lightbulb litup so did I....RAY OF LIGHT. Now when i wokeup three weeks later the first thing i saw was my hand it was all bandaged up that hert cause i could NOT PICK my NOSE.... only joking.... .Now they moved me to ward 13 they put me in a room of my own and straped me to the bet. I dont no why i could not walk.Now i do remember the little staf nurse a wee indian women she got 2 nurses........ 2 nurses...to look after me they learnet me how to walk again..So when i was strong enough they took me till another hospial for more surgery. NOW this is as true as im sitting here writing this. IN my room in ward 13 there was a window in the ceiling i think they now call it a skylight .Anyway of i go till my new hostpital .Now i could see out of the ambulance and what do i see .MY dad going the otherway he had already been to the hostpital to see me.SILLY MAN.Anyway the next day.I remember it well.10.30 in the morning in walks my dada with the doctor from thr other hospital the man how saved my life.HE came over and said.IM so glad i had you moved to this hospital.Then he shook my hand and said something to my dad and left .Now i still could not talk but i think my face said it all .So my dad told me what was going on . Well there was a man who had been shot and they put him in ward 13 MY ROOM to recover but they came back and shot him through the skylight.RAY OF LIGHT CAN DODGE BULLETS BABY.....
