"Imagine a 10k run combining the fresh scent of spring pine with the sound of a thousand runners; where soft, springy forest trails lead you deep into woodland, along field edges and past open water, eventually coming home to a superb event village"
Yeah right.. Now for the real version
"Imagine a torturous big feck off stagger, damning the smell that clogs your nostrils along with the chirping of the serious fell runners, where soft Shiite sucks the life out of your legs as you get lost in the woods, trip over the edges and fall into the water, eventually coming home with blisters, chaffs, red spots and no lungs"
For that reason and for a 1,000 others I can come up with, I will be in the event village..
ps - Good Charity though
pps - Your are fecking crackers
ppps - Good luck
pppps - nutters