So Bez (of Happy Mondays fame) has been in trouble for assaulting his then girlfriend. Representing himself the final minutes went something like this.
Chair: "Community service it is then"
Bez: "I'm not doing it. Bothered, I'm taking this to a proper court"
Chair: "OK, four weeks in jail then, take him down"
As he is being handcuffed, Bez gulps, grabs a solicitor and instructs him to appeal and says that he would now do his community service. Solicitor lodges the appeal and makes a bail application.
Chair: "Bail is refused and you can appeal against the jail term to the crown court, on a date to be fixed, probably in 4 weeks time"
Back of the net
Bureaucrats 1
Bez 0