The River Shannon is, at 386 km (240 miles), the longest river in Ireland. The river represents a major physical barrier between east and west, with fewer than twenty crossing-points between Limerick city in the south and the village of Dowra in the north.
By tradition the Shannon is said to rise in the Shannon Pot, a small pool on the slopes of Cuilcagh Mountain in County Cavan.
It is a favourite for pleasure cruises because, as far as I can remember, it only has 4 or 5 locks in it's entire length. One summer myself, Frank Ryne, Michael O'Meara and Denis Touhy decided to take a week on one of these cruisers.
My mother, bless her, had filled a box full of provisions for the week and when we arrived we were pleasantly surprised to find that our 4 berth had been upgraded to a 6 berth complete with large fridge. The box of provisions was stored in a cupboard, a fridge is for beer right.
Mike was a total abstainer and never drank in his life, however he was as mad as a hatter and therefore was given the task of driving the boat, while we got bladdered. We started in Killaloe and drove (sailed?) north. We had decided to go as far as we could on the first day, but only made the far side or Lough Derg because there was a nice pub in Garrykennedy, sigh don't dive off a moored boad while pissed and there is only 3 feet of water.
The next day we headed north again and managed to make shannonbridge, it was a nice trip and we had great Craic on the way. On day 4 we had to turn back and head south and the first lock we entered on the way back had room for 4 boats. We nudged our way in and bumped the boat next to us and got a mouthful of abuse from some Dutch tourists and it was all we could do to stop Denis organizing a boarding party.
Because there was a very small fixed price for using the lock we used to tip the keeper handsomely for his time. It was a lovely day and there was another boat making its way to the lock. It looked about 10-15 minutes away and as there was room in the lock the keeper was waiting, so we didn't care. However the Dutch crew was giving the keeper a hard time about the wait (also they had only paid him the minimum) and it was getting a little heated. We had to sit on Denis for a second time.
When the boat arrived and was in the lock the keeper shut the gates. When you go down the river it drops obviously so you keep a loose rope through the fixed eyelet on the wall and feed the rope through as you go down in order to keep the boat from bumping other boats. We had had enough of that.
I looked across and noticed that the Dutch had tied their ropes to the wall while they were waiting and had forgotten to release them. I was about to shout across when then keeper caught my eye and shook his head. I stayed quiet and watched.
As the level dropped the rope got taught and by the time the Dutch had noticed their mistake the rope was too tightly strung to undo it. Well the boat started to lean and then the cleats on the boat cracked with the weight and popped out causing a huge amount of damage and the boat dropped with a splash.
Well we were in bits as we drove out of the lock whilst stopping Denis from taking off a particularly gobby tourist's head with the bill hook.
priceless
