Author Topic: Duke attempts the Impossible  (Read 1411386 times)

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Hammerheid

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #165 on: January 24, 2009, 20:28:12 PM »
Ger , forget poker and ur job - u should be on the stage

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #166 on: January 24, 2009, 20:30:15 PM »
Many of you have not met the wee man, hopefully you will now that he is 18. When he was little and we went to France every year we used to stay overnight in Dover in order to get the early boat in the morning. To pass the time on the long drives we used to play the old alphabet name game. You would pick a subject and then go through the alphabet in turn.

When we were having dinner that night in the hotel there were four of us Me, Gabrielle, Ger and his sister Marie and we decided to play the game to pass away a bit of time. The subject was countries (Q and W were the toughies in that one) anyway Marie was first

Marie "Australia"
Gabrielle "Belgium"
Ger "Canada"
Me "Denmark"
Marie "umm give me a clue"
Me "You're in a country that begins with E you eejit"
Marie with an air of smugness "Daddy please Dover begins with a D"

Bless

Anyway it was Ger's choice for a subject, he was in his first year at secondary school and said "As I am doing biology let's do body parts"

FML full restaurant and all.  Let's do it

Marie "Arm"
Gabrielle "Bicep" after looking all over herself..
Ger in a very loud and confident voice "Clitoris"

OMG the whole restaurant stopped, food midway between plate and mouth and all eyes were on our table. Well I nearly wet myself, Gabrielle didn't exactly see the funny side and was shooting me daggers.

"Well it's a body part" said the wee man indignantly.
"Do you know where it is" says his mother
"Yes, we did it in biology" says the wee man
"Well, tell your Father, he hasn't got a clue"

FML

SirPercival

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #167 on: January 24, 2009, 20:30:36 PM »
reading this is stopping me writing anything in my new blog, 2 reasons:

1. it"s bloody funny
2. mine"s will rubbish unless I tell the bare arse story

jacklevel06

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #168 on: January 24, 2009, 20:39:44 PM »

Many of you have not met the wee man, hopefully you will now that he is 18. When he was little and we went to France every year we used to stay overnight in Dover in order to get the early boat in the morning. To pass the time on the long drives we used to play the old alphabet name game. You would pick a subject and then go through the alphabet in turn.

When we were having dinner that night in the hotel there were four of us Me, Gabrielle, Ger and his sister Marie and we decided to play the game to pass away a bit of time. The subject was countries (Q and W were the toughies in that one) anyway Marie was first

Marie "Australia"
Gabrielle "Belgium"
Ger "Canada"
Me "Denmark"
Marie "umm give me a clue"
Me "You're in a country that begins with E you eejit"
Marie with an air of smugness "Daddy please Dover begins with a D"

Bless

Anyway it was Ger's choice for a subject, he was in his first year at secondary school and said "As I am doing biology let's do body parts"

FML full restaurant and all.  Let's do it

Marie "Arm"
Gabrielle "Bicep" after looking all over herself..
Ger in a very loud and confident voice "Clitoris"

OMG the whole restaurant stopped, food midway between plate and mouth and all eyes were on our table. Well I nearly wet myself, Gabrielle didn't exactly see the funny side and was shooting me daggers.

"Well it's a body part" said the wee man indignantly.
"Do you know where it is" says his mother
"Yes, we did it in biology" says the wee man
"Well, tell your Father, he hasn't got a clue"

FML

Best story i"ve ever heard,even spilt my can of lager on the living room floor.
Mug punter on the horses since 1981

APAT

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #169 on: January 24, 2009, 20:51:19 PM »
Very funny Ger.  You"re doing a fine job getting this down.

Trademans

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #170 on: January 24, 2009, 21:33:55 PM »


Cracking read Ger!  Keep it coming... ;D

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #171 on: January 24, 2009, 22:33:36 PM »

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #172 on: January 24, 2009, 22:48:02 PM »
Hey it"s Jack"s (Technolog) birthday tomorrow - now let me tell you about Jack, frog"s legs, vegas and a wee girl in the venetian..................................

MAIR

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #173 on: January 24, 2009, 22:54:31 PM »
hahahahahahahaha these are truly fantastic Ger.
Mary Kivlin

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #174 on: January 25, 2009, 02:03:46 AM »
OMG its 2.02am and there is an advert on the telly for the co-op funeral undertakers.. Is business that bad.

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #175 on: January 25, 2009, 02:06:15 AM »
oh and by the way profit from poker tonight is a minus -- oh well I had fun

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #176 on: January 25, 2009, 13:49:01 PM »
I got married in 1983 for all the wrong reasons, never mind it was my choice and as such my responsibility. The wedding reception was held in the Lakelands Hotel in Scarriff and was in full flow, with the meal over when the music started. I was grabbed from behind by members of the Scarriff Rugby Club and manhandled away from the dance floor. On the way they managed to remove the tux and I was as naked a jay bird.

They carried me aloft out through reception and out onto the main street. My mother's cousin had a pub in the main street and the peleton made its way across the road, opened the door and shoved me inside.

There I was naked in the middle of a busy pub. What was a man to do, I went up to the bar and ordered a pint from me mother's cousin.

"Afternoon Johnny, pint please" says I
"Hello Ger, how's the wedding going" says he
"Grand" says I

He puts the pint on the counter, looks me up and down,

"Will I put that one on the slate Ger, you seem to have no notes, only small change" says he

Priceless    

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #177 on: January 25, 2009, 13:52:29 PM »
Happy Birthday to Technolog..............

Have a good day Jack


duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #178 on: January 25, 2009, 14:24:27 PM »

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #179 on: January 25, 2009, 15:12:18 PM »
The year was 1980 when we were in London for the matches. As I posted we had won the rugby, but lost the football, squash, women's football, badminton and whatever other mamby pamby games were played. We then all got changed and proceeded to the after celebration activities. We were all told to behave and be good ambassadors for our company, fat chance.

The after dinner festivities were well underway when the traditional boat race was called, rugby lads first. You know the form, sit 10 people in a row on the floor, first man downs a pint, places the glass upside down n his head and the next man starts drinking. Winner being the team who's last man puts the glass on his head first.

MC "A couple or rules" FFS
MC "If a man starts drinking out of turn the competition will restart with the false starter having to finish that drink and get another " Noooo don't say that Mickey O'Connell is our first man.

Five false starts and five pints later Mickey is ready.... We won with the opposition on the sixth man.

Anyway Johnny Logan was performing in the Eurovision that year with "What's another year" and as the ballroom had no telly we all trooped out to a pub across the road to cheer him on. He won and we trooped back in good order and found that the disco had started.

The DJ was asked to play the winning song and as he didn't have it we struck up a rendition of it much to the dismay of our gathered directors.

It was a good year with only 3 suspensions for bringing the company into disrepute.

Great times