How to mend football.
Now what is wrong with a good old throat grab and a wild haymaker fizzing past a midfield rival"s ear? We are not talking about kiddies running onto the pitch, we are talking about your Keanes, MacMahons, Hurlocks and even your little Dennis Wises.
All this "What about the kids?" And "they should set an example." Sod the kids, we want to see a good old dust up, preferably between a big old bruiser and a spotty teenager who fancies his chances before he quickly realises he had better stand behind the referee for protection.
Or maybe switching the kids attention towards greed is good and Roasting hotel romps may open up better areas for example setting?