My reasons for asking for the thread to be removed were not completely self-motivated, it was genuinely a hope to see the APAT thread move on. To log into the forums and here about the job well done by the 10 of us on the final table. To see the Congratulation to Steve thread longer than the we hate Noe thread. I have taken the time to send a PM to congratulate the winner - privately because I promised Des I would not post on the forums in hope that by lying low this would pass. In fact I was advised on Sunday by an APAT moderator not to post an apology right away, to give it a day, I assume to let things cool down. It was 4am when I got home and I worked Monday - and this is the only reason I was slow to respond.
I do regret the behavior described in these forums and have expressed so sincerely. After asking for the thread to be removed, I also expressed to Des my concern people may not have an oppurtunity to see my apology and "left it to his decretion" on how to handle that. Des and I agreed yesterday in the best interested of both APAT and my family, that the thread removal would let us move on. I understand I behaved badly, what do you want from me? I was genuinely crushed and remain so still today - and that comment is not a designed falsly to elicit sympathy. It is an effort to share my deepest sorrow with some hope that you would beleive my apology was heart-felt.
I am completely confused by the reactions and varied responses from people. I will not go into detail for fear that in doing that it would diminish my effort to persuade some that I am, was and will remain sorry. But I do thank the many of you that have taken time to PM me, email me and send me text to express in various ways that you do hope to see me across a table again some day, etc.... surprisingly some of those came from the vary people I have offended and/or had the misfortune of sharing the Saturday table with me.
My BIGGEST aplogy now is to the winner. I grew quite fond of on eth final table and was pleased at the final result. It was well deserved win and it is for him most I am sorry for today. Instead of train wreck watching, I wish people woudl divert their energy towards his success.
If it will make people still so angry with me satified, people whom don"t feel my apology is enough nor ever could have been, people who think my humilation is of my own doing and nothing short of continuing to mock my integrity, character and personal short failings......
My mobile number is 07825841953. You are welcome to call and discuss with me or my husband, and perhaps give me an oppurtunity to apologize again, in person exactly the "wrong" I have done to you personally. Des reinstate the thread and let the people who still have the need to get their distaste for me publically off the chest - have at me, but please post my apology again as well and your official rulings.
As previously promised, I will not post again on the forums which is likley to perpetuated this drama.